Surviving Trying To Conceive & IVF

Surviving TTC & IVF

I was always one of those people who couldn't wait to become a mum. I felt like I waited so long to find the right person to have a family with, and once I did, I thought it would all fall into place. But instead, I found myself in a situation where my partner wasn’t ready — which was tough to swallow and caused its own struggles in our relationship. I never imagined that when the time finally came, having a baby wouldn’t be easy.

By the time we actually started trying, I had already been longing for a baby for almost six years. Then it took another three years before we finally had Monty. In a lot of ways, it felt like I was waiting for nearly a decade to meet him.

It’s very easy to sit back and feel like life isn’t fair, like you’ve been dealt a bad hand. But the one question I’m always asked is, “How did you keep going?” And honestly, even on my darkest days, I would wake up and remind myself: I'm one day closer to meeting my baby. I also gave myself permission to fully lean into the sadness when it came. Because it is sad — you go through such a grieving period. You mourn the loss of what you thought getting pregnant would look like. You picture the positive test, surprising your partner, telling your family — and when it doesn’t happen that way, all of that is taken from you.

I've made peace with it now, but I’ll never experience that "excited surprise" moment again after three early losses. That’s just part of my story now, and I’ve accepted that it looks different from what I dreamed — and that’s okay.

TTC when it's not happening quickly is the most isolating place I have ever found myself in. Your life is lived in two-week increments — two weeks of waiting and trying, two weeks of waiting and testing. It’s so soul-destroying, especially when it feels like everyone around you is falling pregnant so easily.

A few things that helped me: Having a plan from the start made a difference — I told myself that if it hadn’t happened in about five months, I would go get testing done (and I know I was fortunate to be able to access testing quickly). Research actually helped me, too. I know not everyone finds googling symptoms helpful, but for me, learning and reading other stories made me feel less alone. It opened my eyes to how many women were in the same boat. Tiktok surprisingly became my best friend — I watched IVF stories, Q&As, vlogs, and even embryologists explaining the process. It took away a lot of fear and mystery around IVF. Leaning on my friends and family was crucial. I’m a talker, and I kept my close circle updated the whole time. I made it clear they didn’t need to tiptoe around the subject — I would bring it up when I wanted to talk about it. That made it feel a lot less heavy and isolating.

Also — acupuncture! It was so helpful for me. It's meant to increase chances of success, but honestly, it did so much for my mental state. It kept me very calm and gave me something to lean on throughout the process. I started about a month before my embryo transfer and kept it up all the way through to my due date.

IVF
When it came to IVF, I always say: it seems so much scarier from the outside than it actually is. Once you’re in it, the meds and injections just become part of daily life, and you get into a rhythm. I actually felt excited to start IVF — it finally felt like we were doing something instead of just waiting.

IVF is really split into two big parts: egg retrieval and embryo transfer. Egg retrieval was the harder physical part — I’m not going to sugarcoat it, I was so sore after. It took about four days to feel completely normal again. Transfer was more mentally hard than physical — the actual procedure is so easy, but the waiting after can feel endless.

Before starting IVF, I made it a mission to get my body and mind in the best place possible. That way, if it didn’t work, I wouldn’t blame myself. I ate an extremely healthy diet (lots of fish and veg), avoided alcohol, stayed active with gentle workouts and daily walks, and made sure I got good sleep. I also threw myself into work and kept my mind busy.

A few egg retrieval must-haves for me were: making sure the house was clean and cozy, fresh sheets and pajamas, Netflix lined up, lots of yummy (easy) food, and honestly — laxatives (if you know, you know). After transfer, I did full bed rest for 24 hours, only had room temp liquids and warm food, wore cashmere socks at all times (warm feet = warm uterus!) and took it very slow for a few days. I also talked to my embryo every day — it made me feel connected to the little life I was hoping would stick.

The Hardest Part
One of the hardest parts for me was seeing friends or people around me getting pregnant easily. It was so confusing because I felt genuinely happy for them but overwhelmingly sad for myself. I once saw a quote that said, “It’s okay to be happy for them and sad for you,” and it completely shifted my mindset. Both feelings can exist at the same time.

Overall, I wouldn’t want to change a thing. I always promised myself that once my baby was here, I would be grateful for the journey, no matter how hard it was — because without all of it, it wouldn’t be him. Now that Monty’s here, I can honestly say: every single second was worth it a thousand times over.

Spring Fashion Faves

My spring fashion faves this year have definitely come from Mint Velvet and Zara — they’ve had so many good pieces lately. I’ve been reaching for white jeans and anything in that soft butter yellow shade; they just feel so fresh for the season. Denim is also having a major moment, so I’ve been mixing it in with all my spring looks too!

Recent Baby Purchases

I recently stocked up on some new baby bath items because bath time is such a big part of our routine — Monty absolutely loves it! It’s one of the best ways to wind him down and get him relaxed before bed. We’ve especially been loving these cute bath toys from John Lewis — they make the whole experience even more fun for him!